Having to wake up at 8:00 on a Saturday morning to go canoeing in 10 degree water, where the chance of you not getting wet is close to none, is definitely the most desirable choice of how to spend one’s Saturday. So here is my the story:

It was a cold September morning, the new students lined up like pigs to the slaughter to get on the bus, where they were supposed to bond with us oldies. In truth the only thing that managed to keep us awake on the bus trip was the blinding light of the sunrise and the intoxicating farts let off by some of the girls of course.

After what seemed like years, we got off the bus to meet a group of Swiss Germans ready to take us to our death…. canoeing. And after about 16 hours of briefing, where we learned to hold the oar, we set off. The canoes mainly varied from 2-5 people, though there were 3 canoes that held 10 people each. We navigated through the zigzagged river, bumping into bushes and people, and waging war on the more vulnerable canoes. The war consisted of smacking ones oar on the surface of the water to send a wave to the other canoe, wetting the passengers with dark green leech infested water.

The war raged and each person became wetter with sewage water by the moment. The Swiss German instructors occasionally shouted at us, and even if they were speaking English, it sounded more like Swahili to the ear. Eventually their anger vanished and we paddled on.

I was now very wet half way into the trip, so my canoe buddy and I decided a swim was necessary, and it gave us an opportunity to rid the canoe of water. Little did we know, that the more we tried to empty the water, the more water filled the canoe. This continued until the top of the canoe, was now at the surface level of the water. The fifteen minutes of wading through the water went by faster than I thought possible, mainly because we were laughing so much. Eventually two canoes came to our aid, and lifted the canoe out of the water, and we could finally paddle to safety to enjoy a pasta meal (as if we don’t have enough of those).

Written by Théo